Randomamanda

Full Disclaimer: You may not want to read this if you are planning on seeing the movie. It is a blockbuster hit and everyone is talking about it. These days, we should be questioning the who that decides something is so good before we’ve seen it. I saw it my bestie and I see all the movies with her since I turned 40. I turned 40 two and a half years ago. I actually fell asleep for a short nap before the movie. When I woke up and headed to the movie theatre I didn’t think about what movie were seeing and I was physically present and engaged in the convo when she bought the tickets while we were getting pedicures; However, I was a little caught off guard when I read the tickets because I was prepared to see Trap. I am not disappointed, but I could have gone the rest of my life without seeing this movie. The author of the book was on Watch What Happens Live the other night and I thought, “I think I could like her,” so maybe I will surprise myself and like the movie. I have not read the book and maybe in a few years I’ll pick it up not remembering this small blip in time. Blake Lively is an actress I think I really liked something about her, but I cannot remember what movies I’ve seen with her. Not with her like we hang out all the time, but with her starring in the movie. My friend pointed out the Taylor Swift song playing in the movie so it makes sense that her outfits and coats were terrible. I think Blake and Taylor did the shopping for it. Blake is a beautiful woman and maybe there was a point the author is making putting her in oversized clothing and manly coats. The flower shop is so feminine, her hair and face are so pretty, but the outfits were distracting. I don’t see the connection with being artsy, I guess.

It is never, ever okay to romanticize domestic abuse. The movie trailers are kind of deceptive, because I did not go into this thinking I would be triggered by it. The initial “incident” is portrayed as accidental, so I turned to Anna with a scrunched nose and said, “did he do that on purpose?” because I was under the impression he was abusive. The second “incident” was similar, (I asked Anna the same thing), and I started to think that now it is looking like she’s bringing whatever is happening on herself. He’s mad because he thinks she’s cheating and their “incidents” were a product of both their actions, no physical abuse. Then, it happens. Clarity. I said earlier at Sephora, “maybe I need some clarity,” referencing the name of some lip color or perfume product I am too old to care about. It Ends With Us sounds like Blake’s character is breaking a cycle of domestic abuse when her daughter is born. It Ends With Us could be referencing her character ending up with her teenage love. I am clear about the fact that this movie is too much of a love story to include any “lesson” of breaking the cycle of domestic violence. So many young girls and women follow these celebrities like Blake and her real-life bestie Taylor, these fans are unable to separate real life and fantastical cloud life. This movie is dangerously unrealistic. Domestic Violence is probably the most difficult, dangerous situation for anyone to get out of and it is not typically simple. The abuser is not going to just let you go. That isn’t real life. This hot, talented neurosurgeon, with a damaged past, would not simply let his wife go with their newborn baby. I wish that was the case. I wish men didn’t abuse women. I wish kids did not grow up witnessing it or living it. I wish domestic violence to never be presented in a sexy, romantical way ever again. I did not appreciate the scenes that wanted you to think for a minute that Blake’s character is pulling him along. I did like the best friend character and her husband; great supporting characters.

Domestic Violence is not relatable or loving. It is not love. We cannot truly love someone that causes us pain. It is not love. It is not your fault. There is help out there and don’t ever give up. It’s not typically easy and you can’t “just leave.” Don’t be fooled that it’s that easy. I am not saying it’s impossible, but it is not the norm. If you are currently in a domestic abuse situation, I hope and pray you are a rarity that has the It Ends With Us ending.

Resource for help: https://www.thehotline.org

Domestic violence is not just men abusing women or kids. Women (wives or girlfriends) can be guilty of abusing men or their children. A man is not weak or less of a man if they are the victim. Abuse is not just physical. Domestic abuse should never be normalized, romanticized, or tolerated in any family or society.