Randomamanda

I am tired and it’ll be a long weekend. This vanilla iced latte with almond milk is not helping. My body needs nutrition. I’m going to do a simple shaker drink with a scoop of Extend Ripped 7g BCAA Blueberry Lemonade and Garden of Life Super Green Fruit and Veggie Formula. I love coffee. I drink hot coffee black but these iced lattes are too much lately. I need to have less of them. I can do without the sugar for sure. Detox. I like to do short ones every now and again so I think I’ll free my body of processed sugars in October. I love Halloween season. My goal is to have a few planned family/friend outings. #familygoals #momgoals 🎃⭐️🧙‍♀️🧡🧡

When the boys were younger, we always had at least one (sometimes 2) Creepy Campground weekends, which is a great memory. I think I want to get a cabin for next year and (restart) the tradition. Just Something we did ever year…a nice tradition where we can choose to only remember the good parts 🤲. I also always made sure we were together for trick-or-treating. That was important. Until the divorce, it was always me and all three boys. Family time, prioritizing unity and familial love is crucial for our minds and hearts to grow and mature and developing healthy feelings. I did the best I could with the circumstances/cards we were dealt. Post-divorce, on my time, I made sure weekends were not just running around with friends for my oldest. I always felt like a single mom. My entire marriage. Honestly, it was either me (there is only one of me and three kids) and if I couldn’t do something then I’d ask my mom and dad. (Thank God for my parents.) Finally, if all else fails, I’d bring it up to their dad/my husband at the time, while circling back to my parents and usually they’d come through or me. The phrases I repeated aloud often (during my marriage) and were playing (on repeat 🎙️) in the elevator of my mind every day – 1. “I am just like a single mom.” 2. “I am an idiot. Again.” 3. “I am a joke.” 🗣️🧠 I always say, I was a strong person when I got married. Granted, I was young and naive but I was not weak. However, that changed and the forces chipping away at me started at the the beginning. I just didn’t realize it was happening until it was too late. It’s hard thinking back and knowing I tried to get help but no one believed me or didn’t want to see it. Post-divorce, my weekends were still very family oriented ensuring my oldest (then a sophomore) was spending one full night with us (me/Zach/Sam) and I prefer to limit sleepovers.